A Nervous Girl Asks Some Trumpy Questions

Americans and non-Americans alike have been shocked by the election of Donald Trump, and it’s left this Brit with a few pressing questions.

  • Do you think Trump realises that his surname means ‘fart’ in British slang?
  • Will part of the presidential handover involve Obama teaching Trump how to smile naturally?
  • Do you think Donald Trump will celebrate his win by treating himself to a second suit?
  • Is Trump worried that this ginormous wall will take longer than 4 years to build?
  • Has he appointed Mike Pence as vice-president because he will make an even more awful president should Trump be assassinated?
  • Will the USA’s national anthem now have to be changed to circus music?
  • Do you think it’s his years of scientific training or just his effortless state as a genius that allows Trump to dismiss climate change as a hoax?
  • Do I start building the bunker now, or hold out for an impeachment?
  • Even though it was revealed to only be a rumour, why is voting for Harambe the Gorilla any less ludicrous than voting for Trump?
  • Do Trump-voting Latinos realise that what they’ve done is a bit like a Jew voting for Hitler?
  • Will America start getting great again once they start bombing the sh*t out of Middle Eastern countries, or when LGBT rights are destroyed?

Do you have any pressing questions at the moment? Or are you still in a state of shock?


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