The Childhood Diaries of A Nervous Girl (17th July)

Another dose of my childhood diaries, in which I discuss beer goggles, Shakespearean insults and strange Maths-related cartoons.

2005 (Age 11) – Woke up and watched the shopping channel. Ade bought some towels on it, and his name went across the bottom of the screen! We had a walk down the canal. I got the new Harry Potter book.

2006 (Age 12) – Woke up. Watched “Tribe” and Bruce Parry had to stay with the enemies of a tribe he had previously stayed with. He also had to drink cow’s blood. I went to school. Listened to the “Scissor Sisters” in music. Came home. Had tea and watched “Fiddler on the Roof”.

2007 (Age 13) – Today was Healthy Schools day. Sports day was going well and we managed to complete most of the events (me doing 100m, 200m, shotput and javelin) when it started to rain. At first we all huddled under Mr. Searle’s large umbrella, but then it came down hard and we ran for the changing rooms. The people in the court next to us were doing stuff with the army (e.g. press-ups and sit-ups) which looked really crap. We went back to school. We had to learn about Beer goggles which showed you what the world looks like when you’re really drunk and it’s really weird! I told my Mum about the day when we got back.

2008 (Age 14) – Had a dream that I bought all my friends tickets to go and see Metallica, but it turned out to be a play. Watched ‘Hot Fuzz’ in one lesson, watched ‘Step Up’ in another lesson and then played charades and drew manga in Art class.

2009 (Age 15) – Watched an awful animation in Maths class today called ‘Flatland’ which was about a 2D world discovering 3D for the first time. Not looking forward to these ‘Activity Days’ that the school are going to make us do. Deep conditioned my hair today, which involved me tying a plastic bag around my head.

2010 (Age 16) –  Today my mother and I went into town together for the first time in ages because I’ve only just go over the embarrassment stage in my life. We had lunch in Waterstones. They’ve revamped the place and now the teen/children section is a lot more plush. (Just remembered a Shakespearean insult; flapdragon). Me and Mum had our usual town bickering. Mum bought a new phone for £5 which we had great trouble getting the cover off. We had to use knives and nail files. I eventually manged to remove it just by calming sliding it off. Finally, after 6 months, I’ve finished reading ‘Lord of the Rings.’ It was really good; the second book was my favourite.

2011 (Age 17) – Today I watched some “Jerry Springer Show”- to trashy and the episodes have titles like “I’m in love with a giant transvestite,” and “I married a horse”. I think it must be actors. They always have to have a fight as well.

2012 (Age 18) – Lucy came over for a film afternoon. We ate our way through a large bag of cheesy doritos, a pack of sour laces and a bag of Cadburys caramel nibbles. We watched “Perfume: Story of a Murderer”. It was about a creepy French guy who goes around sniffing everything and kills lots of girls to get their scent to make a perfume that causes a mass orgy. Oookay then.

2013 (Age 19) – Did a five hour shift today and I got to do a variety of different things, like putting stock out and tagging. Had a meal over at Gran and Granpa’s. Had a strong rum and coke, and also a nice mint and chocolate ice-cream. Killed about 7 insects in my room.

2014 (Age 20) – Woke up at 6.30 am as the whole office was doing a hike up Lionshead Mountain. The sun rose up over Cape Town, and it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. The hike also allowed for many more views, however when ladders and chains for climbing started getting involved, I had to call it a day and sat on the rock and watched the mist roll over the city. We got taken back to the hostel in the back of a pick-up truck, which was really fun. For my internship, I will be working on a research paper. At 12, the noon gun goes off and everyone in the office gets down on the floor and the last one to do so has to make tea. It’s a bit wacky.

2015 (Age 21) – Mum and I had a walk round our local country park. We had a picnic and ate some “nutty bum bars” as I called them. For our book swap, I have given my Mum “The Name of the Wind” to read. She really likes it so far and she said it reminds her of why she used to love fantasy books as a child.

2016 (Age 22) – Had a relaxing day writing. I now know why people who work appreciate the weekends so much more. I’ve definitely felt more productive as a person since starting my new job. Now I write for a hobby and as a job!


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