A Nervous Girl’s Guide to…Why I’m Obsessively Motivated

I now have a CV that’s so long I can barely fit it on two sides. I’m not bragging. I’m stating the truth. The reason I’ve ended up with a novel-esque CV before the age of 23 is simple; I’m exhaustingly motivated and conscientious. Most of this is due to my anxious personality. I’ve always been that way.

Obviously I am human as well. I’m not constantly busy. I like sleep and the mind-numbing effects of biscuits and Netflix just as much as the next person.

I think we all have days where we are super productive, whizzing around the house, getting lots of tasks done, and generally feeling like a whirlwind of energy. However there are some days where we stay encased in our creased pyjamas, watching TV shows that your productive self would never dream of watching e.g. Ace of Cakes, and generally finding that you’ve transformed into a human blob and have forgotten that sunlight exists. I have days like the latter, and I have had many of them.

But ever since my teenage years I have been a power-house of motivation and self-confidence. I’m incredibly studious. I’ve involved myself in numerous paid and non-paid roles. I’ve written several novels, plus other writing projects. I very rarely doubt myself in anything (except for sporty/domestic things. My past blogs have made this very clear).

This is not to say I can do everything, and I’m amazing at everything. I’m not. Not by a long stretch.

I have no clear idea where this motivation comes from.

It could be;

  • I’m very accepting of failure. I think sometimes people don’t want to try and work hard at things just because they’re afraid they’re going to fail. I suppose I’ve always been quite philosophical, knowing that I’m not perfect, and accepting that failure is a very human thing. If you’re reading this and thinking, well, I never fail at anything, then warning! You may or may not be a robot designed by the Japanese, kitted out with creepily accurate human qualities and astronomically well-developed Artificial Intelligence.
  • I’m anxious. If my anxiety has given me one gift, it’s that it’s made me motivated. That’s because if I don’t do something in good time, or don’t push myself to do opportunities, I worry too much about what this might mean for the future. Nightmare scenarios play out in my mind, and this usually makes me pick up a pen or open the lid of my laptop.
  • I’m not too Some people, especially of the teenage variety, are a bit too attached to their beds. In a way, it’s fine, because an apathetic attitude to work is a very common (almost expected) trait of being a teenager. I’ve never wanted to do work. I just seem to be very good at shoehorning myself out of bed/the sofa/the floor and making myself do things. What’s more, I think I secretly enjoy being busy.
  • I’m into self-improvement. Even more so in the past few years. I like the whole idea of trying to improve yourself slowly over time, and not expecting yourself to change suddenly overnight, but also expecting setbacks. You’re not always going to feel motivated. Sometimes you do want to curl up into a human cocoon of nightwear. Sometimes you’re just not in the right state of mind to be motivated. That’s all fine. We should be kind to ourselves and not feel guilty about having some chill time. Self-improvement is a long road.
  • I’m an optimist. That’s just always been my natural state. I see the world with a rosy glow, always expecting the best out of situations, and assuming that everyone is inherently good. If something hasn’t gone well, I normally just shrug, say oh well, and try again. I think my natural optimism has been a big part of why I haven’t developed depression from my anxiety, as is common. However, I appreciate that not everyone is wired this way.

This blog piece may have seemed like a braggy, oh aren’t I lucky sort of entry. The above writing may make is seem like my life has been a doddle, a walk in the park. Of course, nobody’s life is like that. I’ve just tried to write an upbeat post. I’m merely trying to give a few tips about how you can perhaps try and improve your motivation levels, and feel a bit better about yourself when you’re not feeling that way; even if that’s currently all the time.


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