You may have noticed (but probably not) that I haven’t uploaded a new blog post in weeks. And there is a simple reason for this; I’ve had too much sh*t to do. And it is quite possible that I wouldn’t have uploaded a new blog tonight as I decided to start writing it at 11pm and had no idea what to write it about. I was sitting up in bed, thinking ‘Hmm, I really should write another blog. What subject shall I talk about tonight? I don’t have time for this. I have far too much sh*t to do.’ And lo and behold, I had thought of my topic.
Having too much sh*t to do (by this, I don’t mean literal sh*t of the excrement variety. Though that can be a problem too for some people, but I don’t really want to take my blog in that direction). I mean, of course, having too much stuff to do. Being busy, so busy that it’s a challenge to find time to write a blog about being busy. Wondering how the blank week in your diary/calendar has managed to get filled to the brim with tasks and meetups in the space of about a day. It’s a universal problem, and enough to provoke anxiety in anyone, especially those who are naturally inclined to be anxious anyway.
I do like being busy. And since I volunteer for two different organisations in addition to doing casual paid work, whilst simultaneously trying to kick-start my writing career, much of my busy-ness is self-inflicted and unpaid. Most of the time these various workloads are manageable, and I manage to maintain a good Work-Life balance, allowing me to also do enjoyable things that require little thought like watching Netflix or eating lots of toast. But in recent weeks my voluntary work has overtaken my time to the point where I have had almost no time to do any writing, something that frustrates me, since one of the points of this year was to launch a writing career of some description.
Life-Juggling is a skill that very few people are good at. I don’t really think anyone has perfected it. I think we all have areas of our life that we wish we could give more attention. And I’m sure we all have some days where we reach the end of it and think, ‘Crap, I’ve spent 90% of this day answering emails, investigating the weird noises the cat was making, and waiting for my salmon to defrost when what I actually wanted to do was draw/write poetry/skateboard/ring my old friend.’ And we beat ourselves up about it.
I think people spend so much time these days planning for the future, or organising things for the future, or looking forward to something that’s coming up, instead of appreciating the day that we’re living at the moment, and enjoying your life as it is right now. I do my best to live 50% in the present and 50% in the future, and also 50% doing things I need to do, and 50% doing things I want to do. Even though it doesn’t always work out that way I still try.
All I can say is that I’m taking each day as it comes, each moment as it comes. And at this very moment, I need to go to bed.